As Felix Baumgartner was ‘preparing to jump’ he felt excited at the prospect of an unforgettable experience. However, he understood the danger of the jump: he had trained for five years and consequently felt tired and drained both ‘mentally and physically’. Although death was always a possibility, Baumgartner didn’t think that he would die. He felt confident because he is a ‘meticulous planner’ and therefore thought that nothing could go wrong. These thoughts could be a result of the fact that Baumgartner thought it was necessary and important to gain respect from the people he worked with like the medical team and scientists and prove himself to them. He also thought that his space jump would be inspirational to others because it ‘sparked people to follow their own dreams’ .
As with your previous answer, I would say you'd hit the Band 3 5/6 marks for this answers. Again try to back each point you make with a quotation. Your first two paragraphs do this but the first part your final paragraph doesn't focus on thoughts or feelings or have a quotation to develop the point into a thought or feeling.
With Felix Baumgartner we see that he has a marvelous yet Perculiar understanding of what he does. As he had trained incredibly hard for "5 years" we see that he wanted nothing to stop him from completing his mission, having the feeling of almost an invincibility by not allowing anything to prevent him. Even when there was "a time where" he was "spinning" he did not let that get in the way of him thinking he needed to "earn respect from the doctors and the scientists on the team". this shows Felixs' not only had the feeling of respect for the team working incredibly hard to get him up there, but also the thought of proving everyone else wrong who wasnt sure, either on the team or others around the world who thought it could not be done.Yet after the jump was completed, we see that Felix woud'nt attepmt it again. "No, Once I've accomplished something, I'm always ready to move on to the next challenge." showing he is continually thinking ahead but also feeling a responbilty to further inspire and demonstrate to the younger generation what varing accomplishments may await them.
6/8 well done Freddie you are developing thoughts and feelings from one quotations. To gain the higher marks you need a little more depth of detail.I'd advise adding a fourth paragraph developing a thought and feeling from another quotation.
Lucy Durrant : He states “I was also aware I only had 10 minutes of oxygen, so part of me was thinking, "Don't waste too much time. Get going." From this you can see he is feeling a sense of urgency and is anxious to jump to be safe – especially from the use of short sentences which show impatience. He also thought about the danger he was in. From this text you can tell that he was very aware of the risks and possible consequences. However, he was feeling confident about the jump as he said “But even then I could stay calm” as “he has trained for five years for the jump.”Even though he thought he had achieved and was blessed with this amazing experience; you can see by the last paragraph - “Would I do it again? No. Once I've accomplished something, I'm always ready to move on to the next challenge.” – that he is ready to move on. You can see that he is very sure about this decision by the bluntness in the answer to his rhetorical question as you would expect it to be something like ‘I would love to do it again.’
Your first paragraph is strong and develops a thought and a feeling from the first quotation. This is a top band skill.However you then use two quotations without highlighting a thought or a feeling.Your last paragraph focuses on a thought but you could develop a feeling with this to double up your marks. Have a look at the exemplar answer I posted today and think about how you could develop this answer to a top band answer.Overall - 6/8 Well done
Felix states in the opening paragraph of his article '"I'm going home now," and that's what I was thinking-'. This statement not only illustrates that he is having a thought process but that what he perceives as home isn't a place or house but a planet. This demonstrates that being in the situation that he is in his grasp on normal thoughts is altered.He comes to show a distinct emotion of fear as he says 'I thought I might be in trouble'. This clearly shows an emotion of fear or anxiety as the word 'trouble' in this context (at 20 miles from the ground) could mean anything from immanent death or a mile of course of the landing zone. This could also be interpreted as nothing but a thought; that he is unsure of any risk or danger but still realises it as a hazard.Felix moves on to say that he feels a clear feeling of accomplishment as he states 'Once I've accomplished something, I'm always ready to move on to the next challenge.'. This conveys that he feels accomplished of his task ,as his undergoing was free falling from 24 miles above the surface of earth, he still feels as it wasn't enough and he still wished to complete more 'ground breaking' discoveries and advancements in his 'mile high' career.
This is a good piece. Now potentially this could gain full marks however I would always like to see an extra 'thought and feeling' developed from one more quotation to cover full detail and just ensure that you have enough material to gain the highest marks. So on that alone 7/8
Also tell me what steps you took to produce this answer so I know you can do it again